


Doctor Doctor

by Piff



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Artist Jack, Artist Pitch, Conspiracy Theories, Dentist Tooth, Florist Aster, Gen, Human Guardians of Childhood, Surprise! - Freeform, messing with Tooth's mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-22 12:11:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13763895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piff/pseuds/Piff
Summary: Tiana has very suspicious, creepy neighbors. They're up to something, she is sure of it!





	Doctor Doctor

Tiana made a face at her phone, pushing aside the curtain to look outside. She absently rubbed the edge of her cast against the window frame. It was so bright and pretty outside! A gorgeous day for gardening or reading!

Wait.

"....someone just broke into the Pitchner house!"

Aster, her best friend in the whole wide world and wonderful florist AND part-time painter of the pretty landscapes you would ever see, paused. "Really?"

Tiana used the curtain as a shield, pretty sure the cheerful yellow fabric hid her. 

"They did! Some teenager in a hoodie and backpack. He's tried the front door and checked under the rug, and just opened a side window! He's in the house!"

The dark, gloomy, depressing, spiky, gargoyle-infested house that was the bane of her neighborhood.

"Of all places, who would break into THAT house?" mused Aster.

"I know! He must really need some drug money to go in THERE. Should I call the police?"

"What? No. Just... no. Don't call the police Tooth, you called them yesterday about a monster on his roof. And last week because you thought you heard screaming. And before THAT... You're getting a reputation Tooth, and it's not a good one."

Her lips curled downwards into a sulk. "That house is weird and weird things happen. I wish he'd just move already. Ooo maybe he will now that someone broke in." Maybe dreams did come true!

"You need a hobby. Stop spying on your neighbors and go do something, go outside and get some air."

"With a _thief_ right across the road?"

"Tooth...."

She squinted at the ugly house, trying to catch something in the shaded windows. Honestly, it was like something out of the Addam's Family. Or Pyscho. Or Nightmare on Elmstreet.

"Would you feel better if I popped over during my lunch break?"

"Only if you're not too _busy_ ," she pouted.

"I'll be there an an hour or two then. Please try to be a little rational about this? Maybe it's a visitor. Some sort of family member."

"Or a mass-murderer scoping out his next victims."

"Oh for... Tooth. Lock your doors and take a chill pill. I'll see you soon."

"Hmmf." 

She was NOT crazy. She WASN'T. 

 

=======================

 

Aster wedged the phone between his shoulder and ear as he filled a pot with damp, crumbly dirt. He loved spring. There was such hope in the new growth of tree leaves, the flowers, the gentle buzz of the bees. Best time of year in his opinion.

He heard the phone click on the other end, and without waiting for the man to say hello.. "-when are you going to stop teasing Tooth?"

"Who?" The voice was muffled and Aster could imagine Pitchner was doing the same awkward hold with his phone, but in favor of a paintbrush instead of dirt.

"Tooth. Tiana. Your neighbor the dentist?"

"Ahh.. yes, I remember her now. The color-blind brunette with the peacocks."

Aster rolled his eyes, scrubbing at his nose with the back of his wrist. "Can you please knock it off with the pranks? She's a dentist, she's already insane."

"Technically, it's not me doing them."

"Then tell your little boy-toy to knock it off. Unless you like having the police show up every day...?"

Instead of a reply there was a snort and then a loud clattering followed by some far-away swearing.

Aster waited it out.

"I'm sure Jack would be very amused to know that his silly tricks are working so well," once the phone got picked up off the floor and re-wedged against his head.

"I'm not amused. She's calling every day, and sometimes more than once." Aster switched his gadget to the other shoulder before starting to nestle some tulip bulbs into the pot. They were supposed to flower with red and yellow striped petals, and he thought they'd be popular.

"When she stops trying to petition my house to be torn down, I'll ask Jack to stop messing around with his toys. You must admit the giant spider was rather magnificent. Too bad he had to ship it out this morning."

"You two are a menace to society."

"You think so?"

Pitchner sounded far too pleased for Aster's liking, making the florist scowl. While he did have to admit Tooth had started the feud... honestly. Were these people mature, responsible adults or not?

The voice from his phone continued. "Besides Bunnymund, she must be terribly bored right now with the broken wrist and being forced to take a vacation. I'm only being helpful and giving her something to do."

"Riiiiight. Keep telling yourself that Master of All Things Creepy.” Aster sighed. This was going nowhere. “That's all I had to say. I'll see you and Jack at the gallery later. I have to finish this set and go talk to Tooth. _Please_ try to behave and keep her off my back?"

"....I shall make the utmost attempt to do so. I guarantee nothing in regards to Jack."

"I'll take what I can get." Aster leaned over his bench to drop his phone onto a folded apron, poking at it with a pinky. His friends were children. All of them. One day he might have to tell Tooth that the things she saw were on purpose, and that he'd known all along, and the why and by who, but..

Well... 

He had no excuse for putting it off other than it really was kind of funny.

His friends were also horrible influences. 

 

=======================

 

"Tooth.…" He knew things had been getting out of hand but this? “Tooth...” he tried again to find the words while staring at the living room wall.

"Ok, ok, so I know it might be a little much but everyone on TV does it like this and it really does help me gather my thoughts." Tiana plucked at a long string connecting the crude drawing of Pitchner to a worse drawing of his creepy house.

She was not very good drawing. But taking pictures of Pitchner and his house and his car would look a little stalker-ish wouldn't it? She didn't want to look creepy or anything. She was a respectable dentist, not some sort of crazed… what was the term for people who believed in BigFoot? Aliens? Conspiracy Theorist! Certainly not one of those.

Those people were insane.

Anyways. It had taken a really long time to create her map-guide-connection-thingy since she only had one working arm but it was SO worth it. Tiana was very proud she'd even color coordinated the yarn! See, it was the sparkly pink yarn that connected Pitchner to the things he owned, like the house and the car. The metallic gold for the things he did, painting and walking that enormous dog and occasional yard-work. Blue was for the people who visited and purple for the events that happened, such as the giant spider on his roof.

The only picture with a white string was the hooligan that had broken into the house.

"So...... what do you think Aster? Did I miss anything?"

"I think this has gone on for long enough is what I think."

Tiana looked up at his exasperated tone, hurt that yet again he was refusing to see reason. "I'm just trying to-"

"He's playing games with you Tooth! Pitchner been pulling tricks on you because you keep trying to get him thrown out of the neighborhood!"

"But he was robbed last week!"

"That was Jack. His boyfriend. A robotics technician or something, who's been crawling all over the house to scare you with spiders and gargoyles. Tooth, look at me." Aster carefully placed his hands over Tiana's shoulders and made her look at him. "If you stop messing with him, he'll stop messing with you."

He did not say she was the one who'd started the harassment. That wouldn't help. At all.

"....the gargoyles?"

"Jack's friends. They were making a movie for a short-film festival and apparently you were an excellent addition."

Tiana couldn't wrap her mind around this. For months this had been going on. Admittedly around the time she'd first started trying to convince the neighbors to have the house and it's creepy decor banned...

"But... how... do you know all this? Were you helping them?"

Oh she could just cry. One of her dearest friends!

"Never." Aster gently pulled her into a hug. "We've been working together up at the gallery, for the Collaboration Evolution show. I recognized some of the props Jack brought it and asked a few questions..."

Jack had giggled the entire time, knuckled pressed against his lips to muffle them. Pitchner had tried to sidestep the conversation but Aster had been determined to get to the bottom of things. 

“THE SPIDER IS AT THE GALLERY?”

She had NIGHTMARES about that spider darnit! That huge monstrosity had camped out on the roof of Pitchner's ugly house AND IT HAD WAVED AT HER WITH GLOWING RED EYES WHILE SPEWING SMOKE.

Aster winced. “Errr… no. That was shipped somewhere south for a movie. But there might be some similar stuff.” 

Tiana burst into tears.

 

=======================

 

Tiana glared at the door. The stupid door painted black with a stupid doorknocker shaped like a gargoyle holding an iron ring in it's mouth. She hated everything about her life.

Her best friend in the whole wide world had betrayed her. Her neighbors were creepy. She had received a formal notice from the city to desist any more attempts of getting rid of her creepy neighbor OR his creepy, spider-infested house.

And the cast on her arm itched.

She was NOT crazy and she was NOT the villain here, but nooooooo SHE had to go across the street and march up to that house and knock on the door and apologize. APOLOGIZE. What was the world coming to?

She was working up to the knocking part, really she was.

Catching herself grinding her teeth, Tiana forced herself to stop and finally raised her hand to knock on the door. NOT using the stupid knocker.

...Oh. 

Oh dear heavens.

The drug-addled thief who had broken into the creepy house some time ago (she forgot when exactly) had porcelain skin, blindingly white teeth, and the prettiest blue eyes Tiana had ever seen.

He was wearing a towel around his waist.

And absolutely nothing else.

He reached out and gently shook the hand that was still hanging in the air.

"Hi! I'm Jack. Glad to finally meet you."

"Um.." Tiana gave herself a mental shake. This was no time to start drooling over a gorgeous, mostly naked young man supposedly dating her creepy neighbor.

"....umm.."

"Come on in! We were just getting ready for the Gallery opening. Koz is in the kitchen making coffee, go grab a cup while I get dressed."

And that's how Tiana found herself sitting tongue-tied at a kitchen table drinking really, really good coffee with her creepy neighbor. Who'd she'd been trying to make leave for.. a while now.

"Umm..."

"Yeah Jack has that affect on people."

Looked like Tooth was going to the Gallery opening with her neighbors. Oh what would Aster think?

Probably 'I told you so'.

He was so rude.

 

=======================

 

Distantly, Tiana could hear her cellphone going off. It was the so very adorable "Here Comes Peter Cottontail!" that meant Aster was calling.

But she was sooooo comfy.

Tiana rolled over and buried her face into something warm and significantly harder than a pillow.

On the other side of her, someone started moving and nearly took the blanket with them.

"Nooooo," she whined.

And whined again when a cold, bejeweled phone was wiggled under the blanket and against her ear.

_"Tiana?"_

"No."

_"Tiana why is Jack answering your phone."_

" 'cause he's mean."

_"Tooth."_

"I'm sleeping."

_"Oh my god.."_

If Jack was answering her phone, then it must be Koz that she was snuggled up against. For a man as tall and bony as he was, he was a champion cuddler. And so, so warm. Her creepy neighbor was a furnace of cuddly warmth and Tiana didn't want to get up yet.

She felt Jack drape himself over her back and take the phone again.

Silence.

"No, I don't think so."

Silence.

"We gave her a lift home from the gallery last night."

Silence.

"You TOLD us to!"

Silence.

"She's not a child, I wasn't going to take her wine away."

Silence.

Tiana purred as Jack played with her hair. For a drug-addict, he was such a nice guy. So pretty. So very, very pretty. And cuddly.

Odd how two strange, creepy men were so affectionate. But then, she had always said the house looked like something from the Addams Family. Koz would make a very good Gomez.

He _loved_ foreign languages.

Tiana knew three!

"Look, you wanna come over here and pry her out of bed, be my guest. But I warn you now, you might end up in the cuddle pile again."

She heard the clack of a phone meeting a bedside table and then Jack was wrapped around her like a octopus.

Tiana hummed contentedly.

She could live with this. Her neighbors weren't quite as creepy as they looked.


End file.
